How many Scorgasms Can You Have At A Time?
- Filed under: Fantasy Football
- Date: Aug 22,2008
“Yawwwwn…” I said, as I got up and stretched this morning. What a ho-hum hump day sorta day. Nothing exciting to look forward to, nothing at all… OH WAIT. It’s draft day! And with that, I dive into my lucky tshirt, slip my feet into my lucky flip flops, and make a mad dash to my computer. Oh wait… forgot my lucky panties. Damn. Flip it and reverse it, there we go. All set.
A bit of history. Last year, a bunch of my buddies were one short for their league. I suppose they dug around a bit before they invited me, a *gasp* chick, to join. Needless to say, I was thrilled. I love
football season, and a fantasy team sounded like a fun way to justify all those hours spent in a bar on a Sunday. But I needed a strategy. I used to be a huge fan of Tiki Barber. Something about that smooth bald head, awesome smile, spectacular physique…and he was a damn good running back too. One of the best. So in honor of Tiki, I decided the best possible strategy would be to pick players that had a hard “E” in their name. You know…Tom Bradeeeeee, Randeeeee Moss, Peeeeeeeanut. This strategy would also allow me to grab Robbieeeee Gould, the Bears kicker, whom I thought would get a ton of points because, well, because the Bears offense sucks donkey balls. I figured a lot of our points were gonna come from field goals. Did pretty good on the picks, and since Tommy and Randy had such an awe-inspiring, back-thumping, ass-slapping season, I did pretty well and took third. Score one for the Hard E’s.
So what to do this year. Every girl needs a theme. Last year was grammatical. This year is mathematical. I’m going with all odd numbers this year. Why? Because odd men turn me on. And the name of my team?I figured I need all the sparkles and glitter to piss off the boys, so this year’s team name is…. (drumroll please) …the Cutiekins.
