Plaxico Burress: Truth is Stranger Than Fiction

• Author: BallGirl
• Filed under: NFL
• Date: Nov 30,2008

 I didn’t even have to come up with anything funny about this story because the story itself is more bizarre than I could make up. After a year of Giants WR Plaxico Burress acting like a spoiled child who can’t follow rules, he has managed to outdo even himself. Reports coming out of New York say that Burress not only illegally carried a concealed weapon to a club but then proceeded to shoot himself in the leg with the gun.

Earlier in the season I heard that Burress couldn’t really be punished by withholding money from him, so he was punished by having his playing time cut. Apparently that wasn’t enough for him to straighten up either and now he could be facing seven years in prison if convicted of carrying a concealed weapon without a permit. 

Here’s one of my favorite parts of the story. Sports Illustrated finishes its article (after detailing the weapons possession charge, shooting, missing of team meetings, and abuse of game officials) with a quote from Amani Toomer– ”I don’t think people understand how good of a person he really is…” He’s right. I guess I just don’t understand.  

Steven Jackson already ruled out for Week 12

• Author: I Love Balls
• Filed under: NFL
• Date: Nov 18,2008

The St. Louis Rams coaching staff discussed benching starting QB Marc Bulger on Monday but decided to let Bulger remain as the starting QB for week 12. Injured RB Steven Jackson has been ruled out for week 12. Jackson saw a specialist last week. “They feel that he should be out this week, rest him,” HC Jim Haslett said. “We’ll see what happens next week. It’s just going to take some time to heal.”

To kick or not to kick…

• Author: I Love Balls
• Filed under: NFL
• Date: Nov 7,2008

Place Kicker - is the title of the player in American or Canadian football who is responsible for the kicking duties of field goals, extra points, and in many cases kickoffs.

Here’s the question… should we eliminate kickers from the league? Toughen things up a bit? Not that I think kickers are pussies… but I always hear grumblings every time I go to catch a game. These slender leg warriors are always the scapegoat and I think it’s about time we put this to bed…

How would we even start a game without the kicker? Will you just put the ball at the middle of the field… blow the whistle and have a free for all? Kickers do add a little finesse to game,after all it is called football.

If it wasn’t for kickers, players like Devin Hester, Reggie Bush and Leon Washington wouldn’t be able to blast out 99 yard touchdown returns and drive over sized sedans with custom Louie Vuitton paint jobs.

Here’s what we do: Keep kickoffs. NO touch backs! Make’em run it from behind the goal post.

No Extra Points, go for two every time (Bring more excitement, extra points typically are not that thrilling)

Use College over-time rules (without field-goals) Coin flips suck!!!

Just my thoughts. What are yours?
xoxo

Roethlisberger likes coleslaw on his women?

• Author: I Love Balls
• Filed under: NFL
• Date: Nov 6,2008

The biggest question mark for the Steelers heading into the Colts game is who will start at quarterback.

Ben Roethlisberger sat out of practice on Wednesday after he aggravated his shoulder against the Redskins. Byron Leftwich got the snaps with the first team, something that has been commonplace on Wednesdays this season as Roethlisberger has been given a rest here and there.

Either way there is one thing that is 100%, Pittsburgh is a place of it’s own!!!

The food: Usually something that involves lots of meat and eggs and cheese and onions. And when it all comes off the grill - which was last cleaned some time around the Steelers’s 2nd Super Bowl win - they cover it with coleslaw and french fries and slap it on sourdough bread, just dripping with grease and fat and sauce and holy shit it’s so good.

The Language:
Allegheny Whitefish - Condom floating down the river. Look at the Allegheny whitefish!

Blinkers - Turn Signals. It is rumored that in some cities, people use these devices on their cars to warn other drivers that they are about to make a turn. Why anybody would want to do this is unknown.

Face Rag - Wash cloth. Yinz better get a clean face rag from the cubbard and worsh your faces!!!!

Grasscutter - Lawn mower. Yinz get a new grasscutter??

Gumband - Rubber bands. Da gumband snapped.

Haus - Your place of residence. Are yinz comin dahn my haus to watch the Stiller’s game?

Hunnert - The number after 99.

Jag off - One who jags around. Jerk. Introduced to the world by Michael Keaton on David Letterman.

Worshin Macheen - Clothes washer. That thing that takes an occasional noisy walk dahn the cellar.

The Ladies: Need I say more!

Spit or Swallow?!?!

• Author: I Love Balls
• Filed under: NFL
• Date: Oct 27,2008

Oh Larry, are you ever going to learn your lesson?

Kansas City running back Larry Johnson, already facing possible suspension by the NFL, was charged Monday with simple assault for spitting his drink in a woman’s face.

The charge is the second such count the former Pro Bowler is facing.

This is the fourth time in five years he’s been accused of assaulting a woman and the Chiefs acknowledged last week the NFL was looking into the latest incident.