ALF leaves Melmac.. signs with Lightning! Eats babies?

• Author: I Love Balls
• Filed under: NHL
• Date: Dec 11,2008

The soap opera continues in the Bay area… The Tampa Bay Lightning have called up ALF from the Melmac Slammers. ALF a veteran of the OHL, leads the league for defenseman in goals and assists.

This breaking news comes with some relief to Bolt’s fans. The Lightning have only won 1 game (1-7-2) since the firing of Head Coach Barry Melrose. “I beleive this is the spark that our team needs, Having a veteran like ALF on the team will do big things for our defense”  coach Tocchet.

ALF has signed a 1 year deal estimated at 1200 babies to help feed his number one fan!

Curse of the 3rd jersey… retire this piece of ish!

• Author: I Love Balls
• Filed under: NHL
• Date: Dec 9,2008

Screw this stupid jersey!!!! The Bolt’s have gone 0-6-2 since the unveiling of this piece of garbage back on November 26th 2008. <vent>

Nov 26 ‘08 - Loss to the Devils

Nov 28 ‘08 - Shootout Loss to the Rangers

Nov 29 ‘08 - Loss to the Av’s

Dec 02 ‘08 - Overtime Loss to the Flyers

Dec 04 ‘08 - Loss to the Bruins

Dec 06 ‘08 - Loss to the Sabres

Dec 08 ‘08 - Loss the Bruins

It’s time to retire this mother… better yet… burn it!!!

Breaking News: Red Wings place Unlce Joey behind the bench?!?

• Author: I Love Balls
• Filed under: NHL
• Date: Nov 19,2008

With the NHL changing head coaches as much as the Lightning losing in shootouts, The Detroit Red Wings look to be making a bold move and replacing Coach Mike Babcock with Uncle Joey?!?

The breaking news came less than 24 hours after the Tampa Bay Lightning named Uncle Jesse as the man behind bench in the Bay.

“I said this before and I’ll say it again… the NHL needs some more mullet-ude.. period” said Danny Tanner. “So what Babcock brought Detroit a Stanley Cup… Mark my words, Uncle Joey will be bringing the Manly Cup to the Motor City!”

Are we seeing a trend?

“My elbow hurts” said Marty Brodeur. “Thank you Jesus” said the Lightning.

• Author: Mrs. Lecavalier
• Filed under: NHL
• Date: Nov 5,2008

Let’s talk a little NHL, shall we? The New Jersey Devils will be playing host to the Tampa Bay Lightning tonight in what is sure to be an interesting match-up, as Marty Brodeur is side-lined with a rare elbow injury. It occurred on Saturday mid-way through a game against the Atlanta Thrashers. The Devils still came out on top with a 6-1 victory but followed that up with a 2-0 loss to Buffalo on Monday. Which means tonight’s game, only the second since his unfortunate injury, could shape the direction of this team for next 3-4 months.

Now, I’m not really a Devils fan so the loss of this ever-important team member for the bulk of their season does not really get me worked up. I am, on the other hand, a huge Lightning fan, so the idea of playing New Jersey as they work out the kinks without Brodeur, does make me smile . The Bolts are beginning this 5 game road trip with a 3 game winning streak! The team is finally beginning to play well together! With the MVP line connecting, the defense stepping up and Stamkos hitting his stride, I find myself asking, “Is this the year”?

For those of you who choose not to follow the Tampa Bay Lightning (a poor choice on your part, but that is neither here nor there), let me give you a few reasons to do so…

1.Vinny Lecavalier – 6-foot-4, 220 lbs and 100% HUNK!! How could you not be in love at first sight? While some tout him as the best player in the NHL, I say he is the best-looking player in the NHL! My one, My only, MY Vinny!

2. Mike Smith – He hasn’t been with the team long (actually only since the trade deadline last season) but he is second on my list. If you like the look of Ashton Kutcher, you will also appreciate Mr. Smith. His spectacular and dare I say, acrobatic moves playing goaltender could really make a lady wonder…

3. Ryan Malone – My guess is he wears the #12 because that’s how many black eyes he earns during a regular season. He is a little rough around the edges and he is missing a bottom tooth, but he suffers all this to stick up for his teammates. And manages to look mighty good while doing so!

So if you decide to tune into the game tonight, a game that will probably be a crystal ball to the Devils fate this season, be sure to look for these scrumptious puck handlers.

**Please note that their individual NHL profile pics do not do any of them justice. You must see them suited up and on the ice to get the full effect**