This breaking news comes with some relief to Bolt’s fans. The Lightning have only won 1 game (1-7-2) since the firing of Head Coach Barry Melrose. “I beleive this is the spark that our team needs, Having a veteran like ALF on the team will do big things for our defense”  coach Tocchet.

ALF has signed a 1 year deal estimated at 1200 babies to help feed his number one fan!

Nov 26 ‘08 - Loss to the Devils

Nov 28 ‘08 - Shootout Loss to the Rangers

Nov 29 ‘08 - Loss to the Av’s

Dec 02 ‘08 - Overtime Loss to the Flyers

Dec 04 ‘08 - Loss to the Bruins

Dec 06 ‘08 - Loss to the Sabres

Dec 08 ‘08 - Loss the Bruins

It’s time to retire this mother… better yet… burn it!!!

Earlier in the season I heard that Burress couldn’t really be punished by withholding money from him, so he was punished by having his playing time cut. Apparently that wasn’t enough for him to straighten up either and now he could be facing seven years in prison if convicted of carrying a concealed weapon without a permit. 

Here’s one of my favorite parts of the story. Sports Illustrated finishes its article (after detailing the weapons possession charge, shooting, missing of team meetings, and abuse of game officials) with a quote from Amani Toomer– ”I don’t think people understand how good of a person he really is…” He’s right. I guess I just don’t understand.  

The sly vixen who is getting between Tony and Jessica is a man named Doc.  Doc was outside a theater in in Dallas when a man came up and offered to pay his way to see a movie. Planning on passing out fliers for a consignment store across the street, Doc declined. But then he realized that he had just turned down Romo.

He ran across the street, asked for the day off and ran back to the theater. Romo and Doc ended up sitting together watching the movie “Role Model.” Doc told the newspaper that he informed Romo that he hadn’t showered in days.

“Don’t worry about that,” Romo said, according to the newspaper. “I’m used to locker rooms.”

“For me, it was a blessing,” Doc said. “It came at just the right time. It gave me some encouragement and faith in mankind. I just wanted to say thank you.”

The breaking news came less than 24 hours after the Tampa Bay Lightning named Uncle Jesse as the man behind bench in the Bay.

“I said this before and I’ll say it again… the NHL needs some more mullet-ude.. period” said Danny Tanner. “So what Babcock brought Detroit a Stanley Cup… Mark my words, Uncle Joey will be bringing the Manly Cup to the Motor City!”

Are we seeing a trend?

“Barry Melrose was a great coach, but seemed to have lost his mullet-ude over the years. We feel that Unlce Jesse will bring that mullet-ude back to the game of hockey and most importantly back to the city of Tampa” said Brian Lawton.

We tried to obtain a quote from the new head coach and all Jess had to say at this point was “Have Mercy”

Catania, a team in the country’s top division, unveiled the new look while taking a free kick. The players lined up in a wall and dropped their shorts in an effort to block the goalkeeper’s vision.

The Sicilian team carried out the maneuver to perfection Sunday. Three players dropped their shorts practically to their knees so Torino goalie Matteo Sereni couldn’t see the kick by Giuseppe Mascara, who scored during Catania’s 3-2 victory.

Catania is coached by Walter Zenga, a former goalkeeper on Italy’s national team.

“This is a strategy that Zenga tries continually in training,” Pietro Lo Monaco, the club’s chief executive, told RAI state radio Monday.

Former referees coordinator Paolo Casarin called the move “unsportsmanlike and in bad taste.”

“It’s a trick that should not be tolerated anymore by the referees,” he said.

Lo Monaco replied: “A trick? I wouldn’t say so. It’s up to the referee to decide if it should be penalized, otherwise I don’t see where the problem is. … Good taste is relative.”

Fact: The Pittsburgh Steelers’ owners have long been involved in gambling of different kinds, which has contributed to the current sell-off by some of the Rooney family members.

Fact: The Steelers were penalized 13 to 1 in the game against the Chargers yesterday.

Fact: The Vegas line on the game was reported in most places to be Steelers by 4.5.

Fact: The game ended on a play which would have resulted in the Steelers winning by at least 7, beating the spread. The Steelers were given the touchdown and then it was taken away. This caused the Steelers to win but not beat the spread.

Fact: The officials acknowledged right after the game that they should have given the Steelers the touchdown.

What other possible conclusion could be drawn except that gambling was involved and the fix was in to not let the Steelers beat the spread from the beginning. Could it have been sloppy or overzealous play by the Steelers? Nah. Some bad officiating? Certainly not. The only possible explanation is that the officials were paid off by someone (or someones) who had a lot of money riding on the game.

You’ve gotta love the NFL and its fans. When no one is being arrested for drugs or busted for cheating, we’ll find a way to create some kind of scandal.

Ruutu was assessed a two-minute minor penalty for charging against Montreal player Maxim Lapierre at 2:05 of the third period.

Under the terms of the Collective Bargaining Agreement, and based on his average annual salary, Ruutu will forfeit $13,978.50. The money goes to the Players’ Emergency Assistance Fund.

Rutuu will miss a home-and-home series against the New York Islanders on November 13 and 15. He will be eligible to return Nov. 15 at the New York Rangers.