- Author: I Love Balls
- Filed under: NHL
- Date: Dec 11,2008
The soap opera continues in the Bay area… The Tampa Bay Lightning have called up ALF from the Melmac Slammers. ALF a veteran of the OHL, leads the league for defenseman in goals and assists.
This breaking news comes with some relief to Bolt’s fans. The Lightning have only won 1 game (1-7-2) since the firing of Head Coach Barry Melrose. “I beleive this is the spark that our team needs, Having a veteran like ALF on the team will do big things for our defense” coach Tocchet.
ALF has signed a 1 year deal estimated at 1200 babies to help feed his number one fan!
- Author: I Love Balls
- Filed under: NHL
- Date: Dec 9,2008
Screw this stupid jersey!!!! The Bolt’s have gone 0-6-2 since the unveiling of this piece of garbage back on November 26th 2008. <vent>
Nov 26 ‘08 - Loss to the Devils
Nov 28 ‘08 - Shootout Loss to the Rangers
Nov 29 ‘08 - Loss to the Av’s
Dec 02 ‘08 - Overtime Loss to the Flyers
Dec 04 ‘08 - Loss to the Bruins
Dec 06 ‘08 - Loss to the Sabres
Dec 08 ‘08 - Loss the Bruins
It’s time to retire this mother… better yet… burn it!!!
- Author: I Love Balls
- Filed under: NHL
- Date: Nov 19,2008
With the NHL changing head coaches as much as the Lightning losing in shootouts, The Detroit Red Wings look to be making a bold move and replacing Coach Mike Babcock with Uncle Joey?!?
The breaking news came less than 24 hours after the Tampa Bay Lightning named Uncle Jesse as the man behind bench in the Bay.
“I said this before and I’ll say it again… the NHL needs some more mullet-ude.. period” said Danny Tanner. “So what Babcock brought Detroit a Stanley Cup… Mark my words, Uncle Joey will be bringing the Manly Cup to the Motor City!”
Are we seeing a trend?
- Author: I Love Balls
- Filed under: NHL
- Date: Nov 18,2008
Rumor has it that the Tampa Bay Lightning are looking to replace the spot behind the bench with none other than Uncle Jesse. Word is that Danny Tanner (Jesse’s agent) father of DeeJay, Stephanie and Michelle Tanner called Brian Lawton after Tampa’s 4-3 loss the Red Wings last Thursday and presented an offer that the Bolt’s couldn’t refuse.
“Barry Melrose was a great coach, but seemed to have lost his mullet-ude over the years. We feel that Unlce Jesse will bring that mullet-ude back to the game of hockey and most importantly back to the city of Tampa” said Brian Lawton.
We tried to obtain a quote from the new head coach and all Jess had to say at this point was “Have Mercy”
- Author: I Love Balls
- Filed under: NHL
- Date: Nov 12,2008
Ottawa Senators forward Jarkko Ruutu has been suspended for two games, without pay, as a result of an elbowing incident that took place last night against the Montreal Canadiens, the National Hockey League announced.
Ruutu was assessed a two-minute minor penalty for charging against Montreal player Maxim Lapierre at 2:05 of the third period.
Under the terms of the Collective Bargaining Agreement, and based on his average annual salary, Ruutu will forfeit $13,978.50. The money goes to the Players’ Emergency Assistance Fund.
Rutuu will miss a home-and-home series against the New York Islanders on November 13 and 15. He will be eligible to return Nov. 15 at the New York Rangers.
