- Author: BallGirl
- Filed under: NFL
- Date: Nov 30,2008
I didn’t even have to come up with anything funny about this story because the story itself is more bizarre than I could make up. After a year of Giants WR Plaxico Burress acting like a spoiled child who can’t follow rules, he has managed to outdo even himself. Reports coming out of New York say that Burress not only illegally carried a concealed weapon to a club but then proceeded to shoot himself in the leg with the gun.
Earlier in the season I heard that Burress couldn’t really be punished by withholding money from him, so he was punished by having his playing time cut. Apparently that wasn’t enough for him to straighten up either and now he could be facing seven years in prison if convicted of carrying a concealed weapon without a permit.
Here’s one of my favorite parts of the story. Sports Illustrated finishes its article (after detailing the weapons possession charge, shooting, missing of team meetings, and abuse of game officials) with a quote from Amani Toomer– ”I don’t think people understand how good of a person he really is…” He’s right. I guess I just don’t understand.
- Author: I Love Balls
- Filed under: NFL
- Date: Nov 20,2008
We all have our own thoughts on Tony Romo’s sexual preference, but a homeless guy? Come on Tony, you are the starting QB for the Dallas Cowboys and have access to millions of women. Is there a secret that we don’t know about Jessica? Does she have a wiener?
The sly vixen who is getting between Tony and Jessica is a man named Doc. Doc was outside a theater in in Dallas when a man came up and offered to pay his way to see a movie. Planning on passing out fliers for a consignment store across the street, Doc declined. But then he realized that he had just turned down Romo.
He ran across the street, asked for the day off and ran back to the theater. Romo and Doc ended up sitting together watching the movie “Role Model.” Doc told the newspaper that he informed Romo that he hadn’t showered in days.
“Don’t worry about that,” Romo said, according to the newspaper. “I’m used to locker rooms.”
“For me, it was a blessing,” Doc said. “It came at just the right time. It gave me some encouragement and faith in mankind. I just wanted to say thank you.”
- Author: I Love Balls
- Filed under: NHL
- Date: Nov 19,2008
With the NHL changing head coaches as much as the Lightning losing in shootouts, The Detroit Red Wings look to be making a bold move and replacing Coach Mike Babcock with Uncle Joey?!?
The breaking news came less than 24 hours after the Tampa Bay Lightning named Uncle Jesse as the man behind bench in the Bay.
“I said this before and I’ll say it again… the NHL needs some more mullet-ude.. period” said Danny Tanner. “So what Babcock brought Detroit a Stanley Cup… Mark my words, Uncle Joey will be bringing the Manly Cup to the Motor City!”
Are we seeing a trend?
- Author: I Love Balls
- Filed under: NHL
- Date: Nov 18,2008
Rumor has it that the Tampa Bay Lightning are looking to replace the spot behind the bench with none other than Uncle Jesse. Word is that Danny Tanner (Jesse’s agent) father of DeeJay, Stephanie and Michelle Tanner called Brian Lawton after Tampa’s 4-3 loss the Red Wings last Thursday and presented an offer that the Bolt’s couldn’t refuse.
“Barry Melrose was a great coach, but seemed to have lost his mullet-ude over the years. We feel that Unlce Jesse will bring that mullet-ude back to the game of hockey and most importantly back to the city of Tampa” said Brian Lawton.
We tried to obtain a quote from the new head coach and all Jess had to say at this point was “Have Mercy”
- Author: I Love Balls
- Filed under: NFL
- Date: Nov 18,2008
The St. Louis Rams coaching staff discussed benching starting QB Marc Bulger on Monday but decided to let Bulger remain as the starting QB for week 12. Injured RB Steven Jackson has been ruled out for week 12. Jackson saw a specialist last week. “They feel that he should be out this week, rest him,” HC Jim Haslett said. “We’ll see what happens next week. It’s just going to take some time to heal.”
